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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?